Sunday, December 9, 2012

God has Jokes

You know the saying: be careful what you ask for because you just might get it.  Well it's true.  Maybe not always but sometimes you get just what you asked for.  Let me just state that God and anyone who knows me can attest that sometimes I am the reason for blonde jokes.


About a month ago I thought that I should move the spare truck key off of DH's key ring and into the house.  I knew this to be a sound idea because it was only a matter of time that I would lock the keys into the truck.  I just put it off.  Then one day I went to get gas and when I went to get in the truck I saw my keys tinkling on the seat and the lock button flush with the door.  In an instant I decided that walking the mile to DH's work was preferable to the at least $35 dollar locksmith bill.  I also figured that it would take about the same time.  Two miles and 45 minutes later I am in my truck and on my way.  God heard me say that I should move the key to the house (which btw was about 200 yards max away) and that I should start walking.  Both got accomplished that day.

I told my neighbor last week that I should get a hide-a-key for the spare truck key and hide it in the bed of the truck.  My fear was being stranded across town again when the buses are not running. (The jeep took a nap Labor Day weekend and I got a ride home from some very nice strangers).  I also told him that I wanted to start walking again but I haven't because my IPOD is broken.

So, yesterday I go to the grocery store to get (you guessed it) groceries.  As I am walking out the door I notice that my keys are not in my purse.  You know you are too lazy or fat or out of shape when you start praying that you lost them somewhere in the store.  Turns out they were sitting all shiny and sparkly in the same fucking spot.  And, even though I kept forgetting when I was in PA to lock the damn doors, here in OK I have done so religiously.

Thus began the longest walk of my life.  That is what it felt like at any rate.  It was 4.4 miles to be exact.  I grabbed the frozen goods from the cap and set off and a decent pace.  I kept a good clip for the first two miles.  Then I had to pause and stretch(I noticed my hamstring tightening) around mile three.  The next mile I was hurting but I was still in good cheer.  I even took the time to thank God for this teaching moment.  With a mile left (from the gas station to the stop light I was at is a 1 mile walking path) I was done.  I had to sit for five minutes and give myself a pep talk.  I come up over the last hill and see the gas station.  I am elated for all of thirty seconds because that is when I got a terrible foot cramp.  I tried stretching my toes in every-way I could think of while walking and the pain was getting worse.  I finally gave into the inevitable and took my shoes off and walked the last 1/4 mile in my socks.

I am not an overly religious person.  But I have to say that I like the idea that someone beyond me is teaching me to listen to my instincts (even if it's something like where to place a spare car key).  Also, if I had to walk over four miles yesterday was a perfect day to do so.  I didn't have to many frozen Items to lug with me,  it was overcast so I didn't have to worry about a sunburn, and even though 52 is chilly its perfect for a walk.  Until the last mile it kept me from being over heated.  The last mile a baby could crawl fast than I walked so it did feel a trifle cool.

After, DH dropped me off at the truck I had to run to Wal-mart and I promptly bought the hide-a-key and placed the spare so never again will I have to walk for its key again.  Also, if I can make it over four miles with only my thoughts for company then I can walk the 1.5 mile circuit outside my apartment without an IPOD.